


The Prince of Lies

by ghikij



Series: Bang Dream ABO AU [8]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alpha Kaoru, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - A/B/O, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Traits, F/F, Kemonomimi, Light Angst, Modern Society, Omega Chisato, Omegaverse, Read Series Summary for Details, Sexual Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24330184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghikij/pseuds/ghikij
Summary: [Bandori ABO AU] Seta Kaoru wrangles with her complicated relationship with Shirasagi Chisato and herself.
Relationships: Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Series: Bang Dream ABO AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636909
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	The Prince of Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Please refer to the summary of the series for more details about this series.
> 
> This entry is set in present day, around the time of the [The Gauntlet]. Although, the setting should be ambiguous enough that it should not matter. It is recommended that you read [That Day] first but it is not necessary.

A vivid dream could be both a boon and a bane. Oftentimes, Kaoru cherished her dreams; the fantasies she could not quite enjoy in her waking moments. Dreams of quiet weekend mornings blessed with the twittering of birds, the scent of freshly brewed tea, and the vision of long locks of spun gold were her favorites, for those picturesque scenes were hopeful, providing her with a possible future to look forward to. Dreams of passion were also beloved, even though they usually leave her heart aching when she woke. They were good aches; dull yearnings that have been a close companion of hers for years now. However, Kaoru wished dreams of entangled limbs and bruised lips would spare her, for it made the Rut that much more unbearable. 

The episodes have gotten worse by the year. When once her time only lasted for a couple of days, now it stretched for nearly a week. It was cumbersome, mortifying, and miserable. Kaoru sympathized with Omegas in their Heat, despite her condition being supposedly easier to abate. She tried to control her feverish hunger by using all the means available to her: her own hands, the many pillows on her bed, and even an embarrassingly shaped toy made of rubber. It helped, but the moment she closed her eyes to rest hoping that her turmoil would melt away during her slumber, she dreamed of amethyst eyes and the sweet aroma of vanilla. Such reminders were typically enough to restart the wretched cycle once more. 

She shifted in her bed, precariously in between wakefulness and sleep like a scale. Her bones felt like gelatin while her muscles had little energy to help her roll onto a more comfortable position. Post-masturbatory fatigue was supposed to be enjoyable, a shimmering glow after a bout of passion that lulled the participant into a tranquil state of rest. Although Kaoru gorged in carnal pleasure, she only ached. It was just not the same; an incomplete rush to a dreadfully dissatisfying plateau. 

Nevertheless, the Rut had finally left her, allowing her some clarity to check her phone. As she expected, there were many messages and missed calls. Most of them were related to work, fellow actors or stagehands wishing her a speedy recovery as if she had been ill. Only the director knew the truth. He messaged her as well, detailing the timetable she would have to follow after her stint with unwanted reproductive obligations. Kaoru sighed after learning there would be a lot to catch up on; readings, rehearsals, and costume refittings, the list went on. She was disinclined to read further or to respond to the messages, as she was more like a rock than a person at the moment. She would have to revisit her phone once she felt more like herself. 

Kaoru plugged in the dying device only to notice that there were missed calls and messages she failed to notice on her personal messaging app. A few were from Misaki and Kanon, though Misaki seemed to have given up contacting her after a few tries, opting for a message that implied that Kaoru should contact her if she needed anything. All for the better, Kaoru thought. Misaki was considerate enough to cease pursuit once she gained some understanding of the situation. Kanon’s messages were more numerous than her calls. Her friend sent worried messages and offered to assist in getting her food or anything she might need. Kaoru guiltily wished she could have responded to Kanon sooner. She quickly typed reassurances that she was now okay and sent them to her friends immediately. 

Hagumi and Kokoro had also sent their messages. Although Kaoru’s younger friends seemed oblivious of the real reason she had been absent. Kokoro informed her that Hello, Happy World! will have a gig in a couple of months’ time at a children's festival and asked Kaoru if she could help in writing a song for the event. Kaoru smiled, considering the offer, but in order to even begin writing a song, she would need to be able to think. She parked Kokoro’s smiley-ridden messages to be reviewed later, and scrolled down to the only message thread she has not perused. 

_Chisato_. 

_[I heard the news from Kanon. You haven’t responded. Are you okay?]_

_[I know you may not be in condition to reply to me but let me know how you are doing as soon as you are able.]_

_[Kaoru. If you do not respond to this message tonight I will come over.]_

The warmth Kaoru felt in her chest was doused when she looked at the date and time the last message was sent. It was last night, and she never responded. Kaoru bolted up, earning an unpleasant spell of dizziness as she did so, and typed a message as fast her foggy mind was able. 

[Forgive me, princess. It is only now that I have awoken. You needn’t come over. I am perfectly fine. I know you are busy.]

It was a lie, of course. She wanted to see Chisato more than anything but she must not appear so needy. Their arrangement was only that, an arrangement. There were supposedly no strings attached, no obligation detailed in writing, aside from Kaoru helping Chisato tide over her Heats. Logically speaking, Chisato should also be there for Kaoru, but the Alpha did not trust herself during a Rut. And an Alpha in Rut was more liable to do more damage than an Omega in Heat. Therefore, Kaoru had forbidden Chisato from visiting during the event or she would hide it from her altogether. Her yearning was too great. She did not want to do anything she would regret. 

Kaoru ran her fingers through her loose locks, hoping that Chisato would read the message before she marched into her apartment. 

“Your message is a little late, Kaoru.”

The theatre actress jumped out of her skin screaming, bolting off her disheveled bed unaware of her state of undress. Or lack of dress altogether. “Chisato?!” 

The blonde Lynx held up her phone displaying the message Kaoru had just sent her. “I always keep my word. You did not respond so here I am.” Chisato pocketed her phone and cleared her throat. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. “But it seems that you are alright. Kanon was so worried, especially since you did not answer the door. She visited yesterday, you know?” 

Kaoru rubbed her temples, “I will have to apologize to her.”

“That’s right.”

“But how did you get in? I am certain I locked everything before…” Looking down, she realized her nakedness and immediately reached for a blanket to cover herself with. She bashfully combed her hair with her fingers once more, feeling even more embarrassed as her ears warmed.

“Kaoru, you gave me the keys to your apartment the last time we met, remember?”

No, she did not remember. The last time they had seen each other was months before, during Chisato’s Heat. Given the situation, she could hardly be faulted for doing something as impulsive as giving her not-mate the keys to her home. 

Kaoru chuckled coolly, “Ah, that is right. I remember now. Admittedly, I never expected you to ever use it. A-Anyway, Chisato, please wait for me in the living room. My bedroom is grossly ill-fit to accommodate a guest at the moment. I…” she sighed, unable to add flowers to her words, “Just let me clean up. I am filthy.”

The blond woman pressed her lips tightly together as if she was about to say something but she merely nodded. “Do you want some tea after?”

“Yes… that would be nice. There should still be some of that tea you gave me in the cupboard.” Kaoru lamented her inability to even look Chisato in the eye. The shame she felt was difficult to swallow. 

Almost as difficult as the longing she had wrestled down for years. 

“Oh and Chisato…”

The blond paused before she closed the door, “Yes?”

“Open the windows. It must be stifling for you to be in here.”

Chisato studied her with the amethyst eyes that haunted Kaoru’s dreams. She knew those eyes could see right through her; her desires and selfishness, all of it. Yet, Chisato always chose not to notice. She would only smile affably and carry on, purposely blind to inconveniences. “Sure,” the blonde replied, lagging a moment too long, and closed the door. 

Kaoru pinched the bridge of her nose and began tidying up her room. She removed the bedsheets and pressed them inside the laundry basket immediately, disgusted of the stains of sweat and desperation on them. She had always irrationally considered self-inflicted pleasure to be tainted; a lie and a cheat. The fantasies were not real, leaving her ashamed of her inability to have what was real. 

It was doubly worse having Chisato here to witness the aftermath. Ever since Chisato’s first true Heat, Kaoru has never allowed her to suffer alone even if it meant cancelled engagements and broken promises. She filled the blonde’s nights with as much tenderness as was permitted and the mornings afterward with a sense of security by being there. They could not be true mates, at least not yet Kaoru hoped, but she made sure that her friend (Or is Chisato her lover? Words are perplexing masters) would want for nothing in a partner. However, Kaoru’s side of this arrangement was not as pristine and sweet. There were no veneers of hot pink romance here, only the distasteful reality of her sex. She did not want Chisato to see it and break the image of the partner who takes care of her during her Heats. 

_“Sometimes I think you enjoy this, Kaoru-san, being the tormented soul.”_ She recalled Misaki’s words as they drank liquor at a bar. Her friend easily developed a taste for sake after she became of legal age to drink. _“I don’t really get it, this whole tortured artist schtick. Life is already difficult. Why make it even more so?”_

 _“Love makes slaves of us all,”_ Kaoru smiled thinly. Evidently, her friend has yet to love so deeply. Good for her. Kaoru would not wish for anyone to be in her position. Not all are able to withstand the punishing currents of an unrequited love.

 _“What does that even mean?”_ Misaki gave her a withering look before throwing back another shot.

_“It means… what it means.”_

Once the bed had been made, all the pillow cases were changed, and the windows flung open, Kaoru dipped her head under a shower of warm water. It soothed her and it washed away last night’s oppressive odor. She lathered on a palmful of her strongest smelling shampoo and scrubbed away at every inch of her skin. Chisato was already here, better to act the part of a reliable prince once more. Not the battered woman with bite marks on her arm to imitate the carnal behavior of marking a mate. Kaoru would not dwell on her loneliness any longer. 

Her bedroom smelled a lot fresher after fifteen minutes of crisp, clean air circulating within. Only a mild spice of mulled wine lingered in the soft breeze. At least that should not make her Omega guest uncomfortable. Kaoru donned a loose wool sweater and a pair of chino pants; something light and airy since she had no plans of leaving her home. She also tied her hair up in a towel, opting not to blow dry it immediately, and that helped her regain her composure. Despite how her day started, her guest was Shirasagi Chisato. Therefore, she must be Seta Kaoru. 

She found Chisato sitting at the dining table, nose buried in a thick binder. A script, no doubt. Kaoru rarely saw her without a notebook of some sort since high school, even more so now that Chisato was at the peak of her career. Pride swelled within her at the sight, though it was mildly tainted with sadness. 

“No rest for the wicked, as the Great Bard says,” Kaoru pulled a chair and sat across from the blonde. There was an array of pastries on the table; sweet buns, madeleines, and danish tarts. Chisato must have brought them. Kaoru’s old teapot was tucked next to the modern-style vase she has displayed, steam snaking up in the air in thin tendrils. 

Chisato removed her reading glasses, lips curving up ever so slightly. “I am certain that idiom is from the Christian Bible, Kaoru.” The actress closed the binder and placed down on the adjacent chair. Then, with the elegance of a proper noblewoman, she poured Kaoru a cup of tea. The Maned Wolf’s ears perked, unused to such courtesy. Often she would be the one serving her friends. 

“Thank you,” she accepted the cup and inhaled the aroma of chamomile. Kaoru preferred the deep complexity of jasmine or oolong but Chisato loved chamomile. It was just cool enough for a sip. “You bought these? I am touched.”

“Yes. I did.” Chisato’s tone was tight. Not quite curt, but still filled with tension. Kaoru’s ears lowered warily. “I did not know what I would find once I got here. How long did it last, Kaoru?”

Kaoru returned the tea cup to its saucer. “Chisato, you need not concern yourself about me, about this. It is as nature intended it and it is nothing I cannot handle. Although, I appreciate that you brought such wonderful treats for me.” She smiled but she could already tell that the Lynx was not satisfied with her answer and a part of her reveled in it. Still, she raised her hands placatingly and reaffirmed that everything was fine. The response she received was a slight furrow of the brow and a dismissive sip of tea. 

Kaoru sighed and fiddled with a madeleine. “I must remind you that it is dangerous to venture in the home of an Alpha in Rut, my dear. It is fortunate that is has already passed--”

“--because you never told me anything, Kaoru.”

“Chisato…” the Maned Wolf interrupted before her not-lover could scold her, “What would you have done if I told you?” A sad smile pulled at her mouth when she saw Chisato’s expression. The Lynx looked affronted, then betrayed, then defeated but her ire never truly receded. Was she angry at her? Now that seemed unfair now, does it not? Was she angry at herself per chance? That would not do. 

“Look, my princess, let us put this behind us and enjoy all these bountiful snacks that you have provided. More importantly,” Kaoru’s voice deepened in fondness as she reached over to touch Chisato’s hand on the table, “let us not waste time wallowing in negativity, yes? You took the time to come see me. These moments are fleeting, every second evaporating into the ether. We must enjoy it!”

The Lynx sighed in defeat and allowed Kaoru to take her hand. 

“I… assume you will be unable to keep me company for long?” As she stroke soft hills and valleys of Chisato’s knuckles, Kaoru watched her face; the way her eyes would focus on the tea cup one moment and the vase the next, then flitting to two other objects before gathering the courage and purpose to look back at her in the eyes. Ever the coward, Kaoru eased, “Not that I mind if you must leave. The show must go on, as the Bard always said.” 

“No… I… have nowhere else to be at the moment.” Chisato’s words held some truth in them, even Kaoru could tell that. It stupefied her with glee. A grin pulled at her cheeks, so unable she was to hide her happiness. 

“On a Thursday?” 

Chisato hummed and sipped from her cup. It chimed when the blonde returned it to its saucer. “Rehearsals were cancelled. Eve-chan is abroad in the meantime so Pastel*Palettes are also taking a break.” Ah, there it was. A lie, followed up with a truth. Chisato has always been clipped about her lies, never sharing details and keeping it self-explanatory. It was so easy to tell that the Maned Wolf suspects Chisato made it obvious on purpose, a subtle admonition that she should not question further. 

“Then, today must be an auspicious day! And here you are, spending a rare day off with me. Thank you, my princess.” 

“You are starting to make me regret my decisions.” 

Kaoru chuckled tensely, “Please do not blame me for being happy, Chisato. We see each other so seldomly. Do you wish to depart my humble abode and spend the rest of the day somewhere enjoyable? I am sure we could find a place to relax.” 

“Kaoru, you’re in no condition for an outing,” the Lynx eyed her wryly, serving a pastry on another saucer for her. “Besides, I do not fancy facing the world right now.” 

“Resting on a rest day, good idea. It is just as I always prescribe.”

“Yes, and the kettle calls the pot black.” Chisato smirked when Kaoru subtly winced. “We wouldn’t have to worry about food as well. I seemed to have brought too much.” 

“Is that so? I am but hair’s breadth away from thinking that you have planned to stay all day today, my little kitten.” 

“Do you object?”

“Romeo could not defy the stars. How could I ever deny you, my sweet?”

Chisato gave her a small smile, “Then do not try.” 

They sat back and enjoyed the offerings in a comfortable stillness, exchanging quips and questions in between bites. Chisato appeared rather curious about Kaoru’s next play, which she appreciated greatly. Though Kaoru was only reminded of the work she would have to return to soon. “I suppose being busy has its merits,” she told Chisato when the latter offered to change the subject. “I have found that the older I grow, the less I like to spend idling with my thoughts.”

“Are you worried about something?” Chisato leaned over the table, tucking her arms underneath her chest with fingers fiddling the sleeve of her pastel yellow cardigan.

Kaoru chuckled, waving away the air of concern that suddenly powdered the peaceful air. “It is not anything urgent, but I must admit that I am about to reach a fork on the road so to speak.” She continued when Chisato showed that she was listening. “I love to act and on that path I surely have a long way to go. However, another path tempts me as I progress in studying theatre, and that is the role of the director.” 

“You? A director?” Chisato mulled over the image, politely giving no immediate reaction. “A director must have a specific vision of how the play must go. From my experience, a director is both a manager and an artist with an iron fist and a gentle touch. A director is many things, not unlike an actor, but also more. They’re thinkers and visionaries, the puppeteer behind the curtain. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue that path if that is what you think is right for you, Kaoru, but it is definitely a difficult one to take.” 

Kaoru flustered in mild astonishment, pleased to hear Chisato sincerely share her opinion. Bashfully, she nodded before uncoiling the towel from her damp hair, giving her long dark locks a few thoughtful strokes. “I understand. Like I said, I am only considering it. Perhaps this will just be a fleeting fancy and I will come to realize that my heart remains on the stage and under the limelight, but maybe…” 

“Well, there are a number of actors who end up producing and directing their own work down the line. If done right and with a little bit of luck, a theatre career can be a long one.” Indeed, there are a precious few who spent their lives in the craft. Thinking about it made Kaoru optimistic, her mood lightening considerably. 

“Thank you, Chisato. You must know how much I value your views.” 

“Having plans is still good though. If you feel like directing may be for you, do not hesitate to shift your studies.” Chisato reached over to take Kaoru’s empty teacup but Kaoru stopped her. 

“You served. Allow me to clean.” She winked and picked up their soiled tableware with the poise of a trained butler. She inwardly thanked her uncle’s retainer for teaching her the proper way of clearing a table when Chisato chuckled lithely in mirth. “Why don’t you go to the living room, my little kitten? Make yourself comfortable and perhaps choose a movie we can watch since it seems like we will be staying in today. I have classics on the shelves but if you want to peruse newer works, my streaming account is all yours.” 

Chisato rearranged the chairs on the table and followed Kaoru to the sink carrying the empty teapot. “Hmm, that does sound like a good idea. There is this one movie that Maya-chan has recommended.”

“Maya? Oh, thank you for bringing this. It has been a while since I have spoken to her. Is she doing well? I am aware she has mostly resorted to taking online classes.” Kaoru asked over her shoulder as Chisato padded towards the plush sofa in the living room with her binder under an arm. Without her shoes on, the blonde’s stature seemed even smaller. And yet, Kaoru could not quantify the joy she felt just seeing her beloved occupying a space in her apartment. 

“Actually, Maya-chan is doing rather spectacularly.” Chisato turned on the television and sank on the sofa, before she began to navigate the tv’s menus. “She is currently involved in Budokan as an intern, learning the ins and outs of rock concerts being held there while Eve-chan is vacationing in Finland. Of course, the magazines are having a field day with her presence there. She recently asked pointers on how to answer interviewer questions without really answering them, since she is bound by contract not to reveal details about the upcoming shows.” 

Kaoru laughed in good humor. “She asked me for pointers a while back as well.” 

“Oh? Is that why she seems to be using your ‘it means what it means’ more and more recently? Do not think I do not notice, Kaoru.” Kaoru could not quite see Chisato because the sofa blocked her from view but she could easily picture the Lynx’s disapproving frown. 

“Then it is a good thing she asked you for better pointers, my love.” Maya had been a valuable friend over the years. Dependable and loyal, Maya easily entered Kaoru’s small inner circle of friends with her honest insights and earnestness. They learned from each other as they progressed through pursuing a future on stage, with Kaoru being the center of attention and Maya ensuring the spotlights and sound systems were in tip-top shape to make the magic happen. 

On a more personal note, they also bonded over their mutual care for Chisato. Kaoru appreciated Maya’s presence in Chisato’s life as a steady rock amidst the constant waves of trials by being under the scrutiny of a camera’s lens. Having Maya being only a phone call away allowed Kaoru to peer into Chisato’s life without being conspicuous or invasive, like a gentle yet staunch guardian should she be needed. Luckily, she has only ever needed Maya’s assistance in that regard a handful of times and only on small, trivial matters. 

With the dishes washed and dried, and the kitchen back to how it should be, Kaoru took a moment to toss her towel into the laundry room and fetch a comb to conquer the tangles in her hair. She returned to Chisato just as the movie was about to start, noting that the Lynx had her binder open on her lap with a blank note paper at the ready. “Are we watching a movie or a lecture?”

Chisato shifted her position and tucked her legs in on the sofa, smiling connivingly. “A movie.” The Lynx swished her short tail haughtily. “Coincidentally, the actress playing the leading role is someone I’ve wanted to observe for a while now. I admired her in her dramas but this movie has more suspense and action than her usual roles. So, I want to see how she handles being out of her comfort zone and jot down notes.”

Chuckling, Kaoru settled close to the blonde and fondly kissed her behind a tufted ear. “Then jot away, my princess. Try not to focus too much, however, and enjoy the movie as a whole.” 

Chisato flicked her ear indignantly, “I would never. I also figured I can show you some interesting things that happen in the cinematography since you mentioned being interested in directing in the future.” 

The Maned Wolf’s ears perked with interest. “Film is worlds different from theatre though.”

“...yes...but they share some qualities, like in lighting and composition. Regardless, you might find it fascinating.”

“Well, then I am all eyes and ears. Should I close the curtains?” Not that it was too bright that day. The mild overcast provided just the right amount of dormancy to an otherwise luminous midmorning. Chisato’s slight shrug made Kaoru decide to keep the curtains half-drawn, although she begrudgingly peeled herself away from her companion to close the windows themselves and spare them the humidity. Nothing was worse for drying hair than humidity. With a quick press of the button, Kaoru returned to Chisato and sighed as she waited for the air conditioning to do its work. 

The movie began with a high-octane introduction of action sequences; armies firing at each other with cyberpunk carbines, sprawling panoramics of a futuristic metropolis, and a sterile narration about the setting of the piece. This movie definitely had all of Maya’s favorites in it, including advanced machinery and supercomputers mounted on earpieces. It was not a film Kaoru would have thought Chisato would enjoy and yet the Lynx watched it with a laser gaze, pensively tapping the cap tip of her fountain pen against her chin. The Maned Wolf sighed in resignation. There were truly no downtimes with her partner. 

It was not that she minded. Kaoru was used to Chisato perpetually seeking ways to make better use of her time, even when she could completely devote it to simple enjoyment. Time was too valuable for her to just passively watch by. So, the Maned Wolf made the most of her companion’s focus on the movie and slyly snaked an arm around Chisato’s middle and swiftly pulled her close, maneuvering so that Chisato was securely cradled against her chest. There was enough room on her spacious sofa to cuddle, so in spite of the Lynx’s half-hearted protests, she settled quietly with an affronted pout. 

“Kaoru, you better pay attention.” Chisato warned with a soft growl, her short stiff tail thumping against the Maned Wolf’s leg. 

“I will. I promise.” The Maned Wolf interlaced her fingers to lock her partner in place and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I would be a fool to waste this opportunity to embrace you, my sweet. Is that the actress you were talking about?” 

“Ah, yes, the one with red hair. Hmm, she must have darkened it to fit the role.” 

Kaoru rested her chin on Chisato’s shoulder as they watched the scene unfold. The actress, whose name was fittingly Crimson in the movie, appeared to be a law enforcement officer in this utopian world. One glance told Kaoru that the woman was not very comfortable with the role of being tough and combat-worthy. There was daintiness in her gait, even though the situation called for power and confidence, and her arms seemed too skinny to be toting such a big firearm. And yet there was bravado in the way she delivered her lines and contorted her face to show urgency that made her believable. It was enough to allow the Maned Wolf to immerse herself into the plot. 

“The scenery is breathtaking,” Kaoru mused aloud, “but I find the camera work difficult in the eyes.” 

Chisato jotted something down about the actress’ use of hand gestures during the montage. She then said, “I agree. The free cam is not for everyone, especially for people who suffer from motion sickness like you. Are you alright, Kaoru?” The Lynx shifted to a more comfortable position, reaching up with her hand to touch her partner’s face. 

“I’m just fine. I can always look away for a moment to steady myself.” 

“Hopefully the movie doesn’t abuse free cam. Its use has become really popular in the past two decades. I understand why it is used and how effective it is for scenes like these but I remember you losing your lunch that one time we went to see a movie back in high school.” 

Just the memory of that apocalyptic movie done solely in free cam made Kaoru a bit queasy. “Please do not remind me further. Neither of us expected it to be all shaky hands. I’m still embarrassed about that incident.” She squeezed her eyes shut to allow the rest of her senses to catch up to the visual stimuli. Fortunately, the dissonance was not so severe yet that she suffered nausea. 

“It can’t be helped. Oh, look Kaoru, look at the way she uses her eyes.” 

Kaoru returned her gaze towards the screen, although her nose was still half buried in Chisato’s hair. The Omega’s scent was soothing and it calmed her frayed senses, allowing her to focus on the scene. Indeed, the way Crimson was using her expressions was astonishing. The slight frown on the corners of her mouth, the minute furrow on her perfect brow, the watery quality of her green eyes, and subtle twitch of her jaw muscles convey the nuances of the scene. Crimson and her cohort had just barged into a room, with only a splatter of blood on the wall as a clue for the viewer of the horror they were witnessing. And yet, there was no need to show the gore as Crimson’s face contorted at least five times in a span of a few seconds to show all the human emotions the viewer needed to understand; shock, disgust, anger, sorrow, and hatred. This raw and visceral spectacle needed no explanation. 

“All those expressions, every single one were purposely acted out. Isn’t that impressive? They were most likely just in a green room and yet the delivery was superb.” Chisato enumerated her observations on the notepad. In her child-like excitement, she had comfortably nestled herself against Kaoru, her tail-tip doing small circular twirls like how Kaoru remembered when they were kids. She even used Kaoru’s forearms as a makeshift desk so she could write more steadily. The intimate moment was not lost on the Maned Wolf, who savored the closeness while she pacified the overwhelming joy and love she had for this woman. 

“A mistress of her art,” Kaoru quipped, “Surely she is decorated?”

“Yes, an Academy Award winner to be exact,” The Lynx supplied immediately. 

“Very impressive.” 

“And thus worth studying.” 

As they continued watching, Chisato would point out cinematography techniques that were not so readily used in theatre, like camera framing, blow outs and zooms to exaggerate emotion. Kaoru would supply her own observations and how film techniques could be useful to theatre and vice versa. As the movie progressed, their topic became less and less about the plot and narrative of the movie and more and more about their respective specialties. And yet, Kaoru enjoyed it more that way. She certainly had little trouble following the plot as it was relatively straightforward; a mentally scarred veteran who was only trying to abide by the rules that governed her occupation but was thrust into a situation where she must rebel to do the right thing. The conflict and the hero’s journey seemed to resonate in any medium. 

What she did not anticipate was the length of the movie. It dragged on even after the two-hour mark. While engaging enough, Kaoru was being lulled to sleep by the calming effects of Chisato’s scent. She could feel the Alpha inside rumbling happily, sedate after days of the Rut with her mate secure and happy in her arms. The darker parts of her mind reminded her that she was not truly Chisato’s Alpha, not yet, but the rest of her hummed in contentment. 

Kaoru nuzzled the soft kashmir cardigan near Chisato’s nape, where she had left the Imprint. As she did so, a strong bouquet of honey and vanilla filled her nose. The scent was nowhere near the potency of when Chisato was in Heat, Kaoru noted, but it was as sweet and heavenly as she always remembered. Before she knew it, she could no longer hear the fierce gunfights of the movie. 

When Kaoru stirred, she was in a very different position and the first thing she saw was a green and white binder titled “ _Script 5.23_ ” written in Chisato’s elegant cursive. She realized that she was lying on her sofa with one of her long legs dangling over an armrest while her head was pillowed on Chisato’s lap. 

“Chisato? I must have dozed off.” The Maned Wolf mumbled softly as she rubbed the sleep off her eyes. “What time is it?”

The binder left her vision as Chisato peered down on her. “Well into the afternoon,” she told her and combed the hair away from her eyes. It made Kaoru’s heart sink. She shifted and saw the orange light spearing through the gaps in the curtain. 

Dramatically, the Maned Wolf rested a palm over her forehead and recited, “Indeed time waits for no one! Oh, how I wasted it!” 

Chisato rolled her eyes, “Oh, please. You looked like you were about to crash the moment you had some food in your belly earlier. You’re good at acting, Kaoru, but the body has its limits. I should know…” Her amethyst eyes quickly darted away, towards the window, as if she immediately regretted steering her train of thought to a particular avenue. She eventually shook her head and continued, “I shouldn’t have imposed on you today. You should be resting.”

Kaoru sighed forlornly, “I rested enough.” She took Chisato’s hand and brought it against her cheek. She kissed her beloved’s wrist, where her scent was strongest. “I rarely have you to myself. Those precious hours, gone. Soon, I shall watch you step out of that door, never to see you again for months on end.”

Chisato frowned, her tufted ears warily folded down. “Kaoru…”

A hollow chuckle bubbled from the Maned Wolf’s throat, “I understand. You needn’t explain anything or chide me. It may just be the hormones speaking. I am your Imprinted Alpha.” Not that it meant anything. Imprinting had always been a point of contention in society, with some individuals enjoying the benefits of Imprinting but none of the instinctive obligation that came with it. Kaoru certainly felt an Alpha’s attachment to Chisato. And since they began sharing the Omega’s Nest all those years ago, she has been immune to any other Omega but the Lynx, a characteristic present only in mated Alphas. 

However, the Lynx did not seem to exhibit the same connection. While she once admitted that she had an aversion to other Alphas, Chisato also told her that she always had that antipathy since she learned her designation. It was only a happy coincidence that she could tolerate Kaoru, surmising it was the result of them growing up together.

“Is it a burden?” Chisato’s tone suddenly cooled. She was clamming up, Kaoru knew. Chisato always hated her designation and the foundation of their arrangement. It saddened Kaoru greatly, being reminded that their relationship, this beautiful intimacy rested on a house of cards that could be toppled by a single incorrect breath. And so, she did as she always does. 

Placate her and lie that everything was good and beautiful, even though the rays of joy always left a vast emptiness once the pretense was unraveled. 

“Love is never a burden. It is a treasure to be cherished.” Kaoru kissed every single one of Chisato’s cold fingertips. “You know how I feel about you. My queen, my love, my future mate; please do not begrudge me missing you.”

When she saw turmoil whirl inside Chisato’s amethyst irises, Kaoru knew then that she had lost this day. She sat up and kissed Chisato’s forehead. “If you feel pressured by my affections, I’m sorry. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as the Bard says.” 

“It’s…” The Lynx bit her lower lip as she closed her script binder on her lap. “I’m not, Kaoru. Pressured, I mean. I…” She squeezed her eyes shut and abruptly stood up. “I better go now. You should get your rest. Surely you will be expected back at rehearsal as soon as possible so you better be ready.” 

Hurt because of the deflection she had expected would come, Kaoru sat inert on the sofa, emptily gazing at the floor. She heard Chisato gathering her belongings and putting them in her bag, before zipping up. “When shall we meet again?” She asked as tenderly as she could, despite knowing the date of Chisato’s Heat by heart at this point. “And allow me to walk you to the door.”

Chisato was already putting her shoes on. “In about six weeks. I’ll keep in touch.” 

“Alright.” Kaoru tried to stand up to be courteous and escort her guest to the door but her limbs were heavy. “Take care, Chisato. And thank you for taking care of me today.” She smiled as dazzlingly as she could, an expression perfected after years of acting. “Do inform me or Kanon once you have safely arrived home.” 

The Lynx smiled back stiffly, so desperate she was to flee. “Sure, I will.” 

When the door clicked close, the white noise left behind was deafening. Kaoru sighed morosely and cradled her face in her hands. She deeply regretted her blunder, her need to want more. It was foolish to hope for more than this. Chisato was still a rising star, and in the world she lived in, there was no room for mistakes or romance, only her image and discipline mattered. How could she be so selfish to want a piece of such a woman to herself when the only thing that could make Chisato happy was her career? 

Misaki’s words returned to her, making her chuckle in spite of her depression. “Maybe you are indeed correct, my friend. Maybe I am a masochist, living in this quagmire of desires I would never get or deserve.” 

Kaoru picked herself up to turn on a lamp in the living room, acutely in need of light to be able to breathe. The sun had begun to set and she could not stand the shadows in fear of being swallowed whole. She paddled past the kitchen, having no appetite to even consider making dinner, and entered her room. Kaoru picked up her phone immediately in order to reconnect to the world. She could not stand being alone. 

She saw a couple of messages from Kanon from earlier that afternoon. 

_[Chisato-chan told me that you are okay. I’m glad, Kaoru-san!]_

_[Once you have another day off, we should go out for lunch with the rest of HHW! There is a new diner near the aquarium. I kind of got lost on the way to the market and saw it. Hehe. I managed to get there though, all by myself.]_

_[But, ah, I won’t disturb you two. Message me any time.]_

Kanon’s kindness eased Kaoru’s mood. A smile even tugged at her lips. She was lucky to have a friend in the thoughtful Sheep, who was such an angel through and through. Scrolling all the way down, Kaoru tapped on the text bar and replied. 

[Look at you, dear kitten, becoming an intrepid navigator! If that diner is to your liking then I will call them for a reservation first thing in the morning. Also, I thank you for your concern. You are a dear friend to me, Kanon. I must apologize that I worried you so. Chisato left a few minutes ago. For that I must apologize in advance as well. I believe I have upsetted her greatly.]

Kaoru had tapped send before she could regret giving Kanon a glimpse of this upheaval. The Sheep did not deserve that. However, she knew that it was Kanon who Chisato talked to the most. She thought it courteous to let her friend know that she was at fault for Chisato’s inevitably foul mood. 

Much to her surprise, Kanon replied almost immediately. 

_[Upset? Fuee, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?]_

Indeed, Kaoru bemoaned her negligence.

[There is no need. As usual, it was just because I was being foolish. Please do not worry your little horns off. Those are too endearing to lose.]

Kanon replied with an animated smiley that further lightened Kaoru’s mood, followed by a message. 

_[If you say so, Kaoru-san. You can always talk to me or Misaki-chan.]_

[I am the most fortunate of princes to have you both. Now, I shall try to come up with a song for Kokoro for our live in a couple of months. Adieu, mon amie.]

Kaoru briefly considered messaging Misaki as well, as she overlooked to do so earlier that morning. However, she chose to forego a candid conversation with her black-haired friend for tonight. She had neither the heart or mind to do so, especially when it came to her relationship with Chisato. While Misaki had been nothing but supportive about Kaoru’s arrangement--albeit with a Beta’s indifferent understanding of the dynamics at play-- she was also her objective critic, often with well-reasoned arguments and contemplative observations. Misaki was always the one who questioned Kaoru why she allowed herself to be hurt without doing anything about it. 

Instead of subjecting herself through such barbs (well-meaning though they may be), Kaoru focused her restless attention on Kokoro’s proposition; writing a song. Typically, the songs in HHW’s repertoire were penned by Misaki at Kokoro’s behest, but some were written by Kaoru. She was not a natural songwriter, but she was decent at writing emotion down. 

So she turned on the lamp at her desk, pulled a composition pad from one of the drawers, and pressed a button on her music player to brainstorm. A quick slide and tap on her phone switched the music to a cheerful and whimsical piece from Mozart, which was fittingly titled “A Little Night Music - IV”. 

Though her heart was heavy and her soul was clouded with uncertainty, the Prince of Lies remained talented at fooling her court. She jotted down lines telling of emotions she lacked and wished for, of joy and love, and of sunshine and rainbows on a brilliant summer day. She wrote about openly cherishing one’s friends and loved ones, unashamed and unafraid. 

She wrote so hard and fiercely, ink blotted on the paper when a tear fell from her cheek. 

Kaoru could not do this, not right now. She was not strong enough. Even after all these years thinking that her acting, growing into a popular Alpha, and her friends had strengthened her to endure the faults in her heart, she could not. A Jester could fool anyone, except herself. She put the pen down and wept. 

Only, the sudden slamming of her front door startled her. She rose from her seat and hurried towards the hallway, heart beating a mile a minute at what she would find. Her thoughts raced, remembering that she forgot to lock the door after Chisato left. The fearful child that she once was threatened to leap out of her throat and hide in the closet, if not for the sight of Chisato panting there, looking like she just ran halfway across town. 

“C-Chisato?” Kaoru stepped forward to fuss over the blonde but Chisato unceremoniously dropped her bag on the floor, her expression unreadable. 

“Kaoru,” Chisato’s voice quaked, “I… I can’t do this anymore.” Slowly, she approached Kaoru but her gaze never met the taller woman’s. Instead, rested her forehead on the Maned Wolf’s chest. “I’m so tired.” 

Confused yet concerned, Kaoru held Chisato's shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

The Lynx’s arms remained fixed on her sides, “Me. You. Us.’ 

Kaoru could hear her heart breaking. This was it. “Come with me.” She took the blonde’s hand and led her into the bedroom where they could sit down. Once Chisato was steady and comfortably sitting on the side of her bed, Kaoru turned off the music and pulled up her desk chair to face her. Tentatively, she began, “Chisato, tell me what this is about? If it was whatever I said--” 

“I’m tired of lying, Kaoru. I’m tired of hearing you lie as well.” The Lynx interjected but her voice was reserved. Her hands were inert on her lap and there was little inflection in her voice, as if she was merely stating fact. 

“I would never lie to you.”

Chisato shook her head, “That is false and you know it. Though, I suppose it is partly my fault why you lie as much as you do. I never gave you the chance to be truthful.” 

Kaoru folded her ears back, “I don’t understand.” 

“Showering me with pretty words and declarations of love can only hide so much. I know you are suffering because of me and this arrangement. Kaoru, I… I do not want to hurt you.”

Alarm blared in Kaoru’s mind. “You are not hurting me.” 

“A lie.” Chisato sighed and brought her hand to her face, massaging her temple to regain her composure. “I’m sorry, Kaoru.” 

Cornered and too scared to ask what all this meant, the Maned Wolf averted her eyes so she would not have to witness the world coming down. She was certain that Chisato was going to void their arrangement. 

“Have you ever thought that your affections for me were only the result of the Imprint? Ever since the beginning, I’ve known that it played with my thoughts. I… craved for your presence even though I had no reason to. I thought of you when I felt unsafe or when someone seems threatening, despite knowing that you would not be there to help. It was the Imprint, I thought, telling the Omega inside to run to its mate.” Chisato chuckled at what she thought was pathetic. So solemnly, she reached up to her nape to touch the Imprint. 

“To hear you put it that way saddens me greatly, Chisato.” Kaoru’s throat was tightening up as if someone invisible was choking her. 

“Me too. Even now it pulls at me. And I… I don’t know what is true anymore. Earlier when we were watching that movie, I felt happy, lighter, and safe. When you fell asleep, I knew it was because of the effects of the Rut. I could still smell it on you. The Omega within and I warred with each other after seeing the dire effects of the Rut taking such a toll on you, knowing I could have done something about it but won’t because it would be inconvenient.” 

“Chisato, I told you that--”

“I know what you told me. That I don’t have to worry about it, that you’d endure it alone for my sake, my convenience. But that’s not right and you were lying when you said you were okay. Kaoru, what do you want? Truthfully?” 

“Truthfully?” Kaoru parroted dumbly. She had always assumed that what she wanted was obvious, to help Chisato and ease her pain as an Omega. As a child, she wanted to be stronger to earn the right to stand beside Chisato. She found that strength in acting, and masking the tenderness within with tougher more charming stuff. Slowly but surely, and with the help of the friends she had made on the way, the acting became less of a front and more of a quirk or a talent. 

Chisato nodded, “Clearly, our expectations of each other are askew. I don’t trust my feelings either, so I was hoping to hear yours.” 

“But Chisato,” Kaoru shook her head in confusion, “All I ever wanted was you.” 

The blonde was mute for a while, and when sound came out of her mouth, it was a weak and wet chuckle, as if she was doing her best not to weep. She stubbornly wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand. “Why am I not surprised you’d say that?” She sniffled, “Why do I feel so happy that you did? This doesn’t make sense.” 

“I have always loved you. Perhaps in different ways throughout our lives but I have. All I wanted was to be with you. I wanted to be yours so you could be mine.” Kaoru interlaced her fingers together and locked them tight if only to stop herself from reaching out to her beloved. Doing so would only push her away further, she knew. She took a moment to compose herself before continuing, “Even if it meant feeling used as nothing more than a bed warmer a few nights a year. You have a career to pursue. I understand that. So I wait… am still waiting. I’ve waited most of my life already, what is a few more years?” 

“Kaoru…” 

Kaoru leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and hung her head. “I don’t know if the Imprint is responsible for anything I feel about you. After all, I allowed the first time to happen, despite knowing that you were not yourself. I took advantage of it.” 

“That was all me,” Chisato chided her, “We both know it was.” 

“I still let you do it.” Kaoru inhaled deeply and finally looked at her partner in the eyes. “Should we stop? I… would understand if that is your decision.” 

The Lynx appeared to consider her options for a moment. “No… I… I need you, Kaoru. However, I wish to try being more.”

“More?” 

“I’ve fought against my instincts for so long in lieu of reasoning, thinking that it would be the road to success. I believed in this more so after learning my designation. It was the only way to survive in my career. But time and again, you remind me that at the end of the day, I do things because I wanted to do them. Perhaps this is no different.” Chisato stood from the bed and approached, extending her hand to cup Kaoru’s face. 

“Kaoru, I want us to be happy. Or try to be at least. The arrangement stands, including our future plans to make it permanent. But, I’ve had enough with the lies. I don’t want to lie to myself that your presence in my life is just a convenience, an Alpha I could use to scratch the itch of the Heat. I want more from this, from you, and I want to allow myself to want more.” 

Chisato’s hand was warm and Kaoru held onto it like a lifeline. “I want to make you happy and feel loved, no matter which Shirasagi Chisato you have to be.” When the Lynx drew closer to where she sat, the Maned Wolf wrapped her tightly in her arms. “Don’t set me aside.” 

“I won’t…” Chisato whispered as she hugged Kaoru’s head to her shoulder. The Maned Wolf smiled when she felt the other woman caress her large ears. “It amuses me… you are the one with throngs of women tailing her.” 

“Have I never mentioned that I cannot smell Omegas other than you?” 

Chisato pulled away to look at her in the eyes, her brows furrowed with concern. “Really?”

Kaoru nodded, suddenly bashful. “Maybe that is the Imprint’s effect on me, but it is true. My nose is as good as a Beta’s around others, except my fellow Alphas of course.” 

“Well, that explains a few things…” Chisato became thoughtful but she did not pull herself away from Kaoru’s embrace. “There were some instances when we went out for a meal and you absolutely reeked of other Omegas. I thought you did that only to spite me or make me jealous in some way but now that you said that you can’t smell them anymore…”

“I was none-the-wiser. I would never spite you like that.” 

“It also explains how you can stand being in the middle of so many Omegas at the same time.” 

Kaoru cracked a smile, “I am an entertainer of little kittens but I serve only you. Did it bother you?” 

Chisato scoffed, “No--a little. I was more annoyed that you flaunt it to everyone. An Omega does not appreciate their Alpha walking around smelling of others, no matter who they are.” 

“Right, I shall keep that in mind.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

Kaoru’s tail thumped against her seat, “Would you spend the night with me?” 

“Please don’t attempt to wag your tail. I am endlessly surrounded by wagging tails.” 

Kaoru chuckled as she nuzzled into Chisato’s neck. “I thought you were fond of wagging tails from both Canines and canids alike.” 

“I never said I wasn’t but you never wagged your tail.” 

“As the Bard always said, it is never too late to learn new things.” 

“I would rather you do things that you are already good at.”

“Such as?” Kaoru was delighted when Chisato leaned down for a kiss. They did not kiss often outside of the Lynx’s Heat, only short pecks, and most of them were stolen by Kaoru whenever Chisato was not paying attention. None of those fleeting kisses compared to the passionate fervor that this one promised. It was as if her partner released from her bindings and was allowed to vent repressed emotions. Fingers ran through Kaoru’s hair and perfectly manicured nails gently rasped against her scalp, enticing a deep rumble from her throat. Surprised though she might be, she soared and met Chisato’s invitation confidently. 

“That felt almost as good as it did when I was in Heat,” the Lynx panted against her mouth when they parted. “I remember most of the things we do during but the sensations are much more elevated on those days. This is still nice though.” 

“It is,” Kaoru trailed kisses on her partner’s jawline and neck, relishing the moment. “If it pleases you, we can do more like this whenever you so desire. Intimacy unsullied by primal instinct, done simply because it is a display of affection.”

The Maned Wolf inwardly preened when she heard a soft croon from her beloved. “You’re right. I’d like that. Come to think of it, we’ve had years and we ...never…” 

“Engaged in coitus outside of your time? Yes, we have not.” Kaoru wanted to say that it was alright, that she understood, but she decided to be more honest. “I wish we would. I remember all your Heats in vivid detail but you’ve always told me that you only recall parts of it. It is a shame. You are very beautiful during those moments of pleasure.”

Chisato folded her ears down in mortification, her cheeks flushing mildly in embarrassment. “I always forget that whatever was in effect on me during those times doesn’t necessarily affect you.” She sighed. 

“A fact which I am glad for.” Kaoru dared to steal another kiss before grinning, “you never answered my question, my love.” 

“Forgive me for being distracted,” Chisato rebutted, chidingly. “But, yes,” she declared as she rested her forehead against her future mate’s, “I would like to spend the night with you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Author: If you finished this blip in one sitting, congrats to you. I've wrote this "blip" (though it could be a oneshot on its own and more) on and off because the complexity of Kaoru and Chisato's relationship, and each nuance on their perspective of what it is, was taxing to write. I hope it wasn't too confusing, especially for those who are unfamiliar with ABO. 
> 
> Related artworks/concept arts can be found on my co-author's twitter @athyrabunlord under the tag #bandoriAU_ABO


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